We constantly get calls from nudists and people looking for nude resorts. They don’t want to stay at a nudist colony that is not much more than a glorified campground, trailer park or Motel 6, where the best they can get to eat is poorly cooked burgers and hot dogs.  Instead they are really looking for a true nudist resort experience—but one with no kids.

We’ve just come back from visiting N Resort in Jamaica.  For those of you not familiar with the resort, it’s a place you really should consider checking out.  Just a heads up that N Resort is a nudist resort, but not a lifestyle resort. When you’re around the pool you’re expected to get naked, but it has a strict policy regarding open sexuality.  If you are a nudist, or someone in the lifestyle who can live with those rules, you’re in for a treat at N Resort.

N is located just outside Falmouth, Jamaica, a historic town that also is the main Jamaican cruise ship terminal.  For those of you joining us on the November cruise, you’ll be stopping at Falmouth.  We’re planning an exciting day trip during your stop here, so check back for information on that excursion.

The resort is located about 30 minutes from Montego Bay Airport, right off the main highway, on the north side of the island.  For those of you not familiar with Jamaica, the north side of the island is known for cooling breezes during the day (those same trade winds that brought Columbus to Jamaica in 1494). These breezes keep the temperature down. In the evening, the breezes subside, so you get those famous warm, tropical nights.

When you first see the N Resort, you’ll think you’re looking at buildings from the 1800s, even though the resort was built in 2000.  The buildings are dark wood and built in a style that is reminiscent of another era.  That wood décor continues inside the rooms, where the walls and ceiling are real pine, reminding one of a cabin in the woods in Maine or Nova Scotia.  Each room faces the ocean and has a balcony large enough to fit a chair and a day bed.  The rooms are also much larger than normal hotel rooms; the resort refers to them as junior suites.  The rooms are all contained in ten separate buildings, each building holding eight rooms.

The room buildings, as well as the main activities building and pool, are laid out on the property with winding footpaths and lush tropical gardens between them.  When we say lush, we’re not kidding.  The property is a botanical garden, complete with a huge fish pond and a turtle pond that contains very large turtles.  By day, it’s beautiful; by night, it’s enchanting and romantic.

For a resort with 88 rooms, the property has a very large pool, an expansive pool deck and three hot tubs.  The pool features a swim-up bar and a two-story water slide.  The property has a small gym, an entertainment area, a gaming area with pool tables and tennis courts, and a disco.  There is a piano bar and, while dining, there is entertainment.  During our trip, a gentlemen played keyboards and provided dinner music. After dinner, we all gathered around him to participate in a sing-a-long.  You really have to hear Zee’s rendition of Mack the Knife.  Bobby, you have nothing to worry about.

Food service includes a beach-front bar and grill, a jerk chicken station, the main dining room, the entertainment area bar, and an Italian restaurant.  Like any resort, what is open depends a lot on how many guests are booked into the resort that week.  During our stay, we enjoyed Jamaican delicacies such as goat curry, oxtail stew, conch soup and jerk chicken.  The menu varies daily.  For breakfast we dove into crab omelets and for lunch, jerk chicken wraps and fabulous beer-battered fried fish and chicken.  Knowing one of the tests of a resort for most of our customers is the food, we rank the food as excellent.

The second test for a resort is the service, and that was also excellent.  Everyone from the front desk, to the bar staff, to the entertainment and food service staffs went out of their way to be friendly and accommodating.  We give credit to Freddy, the general manager, for doing a great job of picking the right people for the job (that’s something we’ve come to realize over the years in this business… you can’t train just anyone for a service job—you need to pick people with common sense who like people, and when you do, it really shows).  

N boasts an expansive sandy beachfront, and you can walk well past the property without encountering much in the way of civilization.  The waters are Jamaican warm and perfect for swimming.  If you want to get off the property, there are plenty of activities in the area. Two of the highlights are Falmouth’s Bend-Down Market and Glistening Lagoon.

At the Bend-Down Market, the merchants put their products on the ground, on a blanket, thus you must “bend-down” to get them.  It’s a very popular local market and will give you a true taste of Jamaica.  Then, spend an evening at Glistening Lagoon.  This lagoon, just minutes from the resort, is one of only five such lagoons in the world.  At the river mouth, the cool, fresh water mixes with the warm, salty ocean water, creating the perfect environment for a small, harmless, phosphorescent micro-organism that glows in the dark.  Anything that moves in the water (including you) is surrounded by a glow-in-the-dark phosphorescent cloud.  It’s almost like a scene from the movie Avatar, but this other-worldly experience is right here on this planet, just minutes from N Resort.

Our stay at N Resort was wonderful and we really want to go back.  If you’re a nudist, or want to try being nude at a resort, this is the place for you.  If you’re a nudist-swinger, and can keep the swinger aspect behind closed doors (assuming you’re going with a small group of like-minded people), you’ll enjoy the experience.  Just keep in mind that it’s a laid-back experience, so don’t expect the party atmosphere you’ll find at other resorts.

We also think N would make a perfect “wind-down” resort if you need a couple days of R & R after partying hard at Hedonism II.  On our last visit to Hedo, we met people in the bar at 2:00 AM, who were catching a bus at 8:00 AM for the airport.  Can you imagine what shape they’ll be in when they get home? You might want to consider partying hard at Hedo for four or five nights (or longer) then booking into N Resort for two or three days of laid-back recuperation time.

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