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Going through security at the Dallas-Forth Worth airport left me shaking my head. I was selected for a “random” extensive pat down search. So I stood there while other passengers passed me by, with my arms spread, during which some good looking twenty-something guy rubbed his hands all over my body, including numerous brushes against my genitals. All right, they were only brushes. He didn’t give my balls an all out squeeze. Of course, were I gay I’d probably have loved the experience.

Actually, being patted down didn’t really bother me. I’m not a bashful person and if you need to rub me top to bottom and squeeze my balls to keep our airports and airplanes safe, I’m all for it. So don’t get me wrong. I’m all for security. After all, I’m in the travel business and even before, I had always traveled extensively, whether for pleasure, or business. I’m the first person to support enhanced security measures—even if they appear to infringe on some of our personal rights. The last thing I want is some nutcase blowing the plane up while I’m on it.

So why am I writing this article if I am not complaining about this very personal body search? Simple. Because of the way I was chosen for this search. According to the TSA employee who patted me down, I was chosen at random, by the computer. Think about that. At random. Something chosen at random, is chosen without logic, but based on some numerical statistical formula, such as every 100th customer gets the full body search. I ask him specifically, “Surely I was chosen because something in my travel patterns or name, or passport, or history, or whatever makes me a suspicious character.” “No, no!” I was assured. It is completely random.

Well if it is completely random, then the TSA is not doing their job and also wasting a lot of our money. It suddenly dawned on me why when I travel I see the TSA frisking 80 year old white haired grannies. It’s all random. Wow! This is the government that has records on me for I presume at least the last 20 years. That same government has a record of all of my customs declarations, what airports I have entered customers through, what countries I have visited, how many times I have visited those countries, my tax returns showing my income, how I derived that income, and what companies I have worked for. That government knows where I live, what kind of car I drive, and probably through my credit cards what restaurants I eat at. In fact, this same government was able to hound me incessantly for some small tax payment from years ago that somehow got overlooked.

Yet with all of that information on me, and I am presuming on most of the other travelers going through security at any given airport, at any given time, the TSA chooses to pick candidates for searches at random. So while they are spending time searching me and grannies chosen at random, they are not searching the more obvious characters going through security (after all, it’s a zero sum game—if you search me, you’re not searching someone else).

I have to believe that even the worst judge of human character could do a better job of figuring out who should be searched, than any given random search. And someone with good skills and experience would probably produce a huge improvement in search results. Let’s face it. There is such a thing as human intuition. We all have it. I don’t know where it comes from but we’ve got it. I teach university part time and on the first day of class, just from attitude, behavior, looks, and expressions I can pretty much pick those students who will hand in their home work assignments on time, participate in class, and do well, from those who will not. Is it 100%. Of course not. But obviously it’s a lot more accurate than if I randomly counted out every 5th student.

Why is this important? Well did you hear about the Nigerian man who managed to fly from New York to LAX with an expired boarding pass in someone else's name and no matching ID? How did it happen? Because the TSA was busy searching people like me and old grannies! The TSA made an announcement to the effect that there is no reason to worry because this Nigerian character when arrested and searched had no weapons, no bombs, and no identifiable ties to any terrorist organization. Whoopee!! You know this is the tip of the iceberg. If Mr. Nigeria is getting away with this, so are thousands of other people, while our TSA staff are busy searching me and the grannies.

The solution? Let’s start using common sense and intuition when choosing who to search at security checkpoints. Someone in the travel business who has flown internationally 50 times in the last twenty years is probably not high on the terrorist suspect list. Alternatively, Abdul Fatih Mohammed from Pakistan who is visiting relatives and has just spent six month vacationing in Iran is probably a little higher on the list.

Okay, I know what some of you will say. That’s profiling. Of course it is. So what? Isn’t that what we as humans do? We use our background of knowledge, experience and intellect to deduce situations. There is nothing wrong with that. Back in the days when we lived a simpler life, if one of our clan mates got eaten by a bear, chances are we approached each new bear we came across with caution. But not every bear in existence ate a person. Bring that forward to today. Let’s say you’re driving home from the Dodger game in LA and you take a wrong turn off of the Harbor Freeway, end up in South Central, turn down a back street, and see five young guys with tattoos and rags on their heads standing around a fire in an old 45 gallon drum. Now, you could suspend judgment and wonder if these guys are the local new resident greeting committee, or you could suspect they are gang members, armed and loaded. Perhaps you should get out of your car and politely go over and ask. I’d suggest you get out of dodge.

I believe we could do a lot better at catching terrorists, save money and create less inconvenience to travelers by targeting and searching those people that an intuitive, trained specialist says should be searched, rather than just choosing people at random based on some random number generator.


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